When your water stops working and you would like a cup of tea...
(This pan may also be used to boil water if there is no tea kettle in your apartment.)
When ground cinnamon does not exist and you don't have a grinder...
When you want to use an oven that doesn't light...
...turn on the gas, roll up some newspaper, light it on fire, stick it in the little hole in the bottom of the oven, don't burn your arm off, throw the burning paper on the kitchen floor, and stomp out the fire.
(We learned this technique from our landlord.)
When most of light fixtures or power outlets don't work...
...admire all the exposed wires loosely taped together in a previous attempt to fix it.
When you have 2 roommates but only 1 mattress...
When your water somehow leaks on the neighbor below you...
...welcome them in, smile, say you don't speak Chinese, and then smile again as they continue to speak to you in Chinese. (Do this with every other random Chinese person that bangs on your door with an urgent, but irrelevant message to tell you in Chinese at 7am in a loud voice at multiple different times.)
When your hot water stops for weeks at a time in the middle of a very cold winter...
...wash your hair in the sink with boiled water for warmth. When the hot water is working, but the shower handle falls off while showering, resulting in a completely horizontal stream of water, continue on. When this shower handle breaks, and then you turn the valve to shut off the water supply, and then the entire valve breaks allowing water to spew everywhere, utilize this time to clean your entire floor! (Somehow, our shower has broken in some way or another every single time we have had guests... not sure how it knows...)
When you see a large, ugly bug in the apartment...
...get your roommate out of bed to kill it. (I learned this one from Elizabeth... Ahem.)
When your toilet stops working for weeks at a time...
...pour a bucket of water into the toilet bowl to flush. Then attempt to fix the toilet basin which has been previously fixed with plastic bags. The blue plastic bag (above) is holding one part together (keeping water from spraying everywhere and keeping a few pieces together) while a red plastic bag is rolled up tightly to act as a rope on another part (you can't see that part from this angle).
When cold air and dust go through the cracks in the windows...
...stuff cardboard through the cracks.
When strange smells come from the unusable bathroom...
...light all the candles in the apartment and use the bathroom as a storage room.
When the spout is backwards on the detergent...
...focus on how good the detergent smells (seriously... it smells so good) rather than how awkward it is to pour. (This was probably sold in China because it was a factory mess up and therefore can't be exported....)
When your washer stops working for 2 months...
...hand wash all of your clothes. Thankfully we don't have a dryer so at least that appliance can't break.
When there is never any warm water from any sink...
...boil water to wash all the dishes and brace yourself for the cold water when you wash your face in the morning. We don't have a dishwasher, so again, one less appliance to fix.
When the internet is outrageously slow or stops working for an indefinite period of time...
...eat Pocky.
When you don't have any artwork or rope...
...hang empty frames on the wall with floss (some of these are with floss, some with random pieces of string we found). (Also, that is Bo the reindeer. We dress him up depending on the season.)
When you have to share one key with your roommate...
...keep the key in the yogurt box under the straws.
When atrocious, dried geckos fall from light fixtures or cabinets...
...laugh.
Living in China is quite the unique and adventure-filled experience to say the least.
:)
No comments:
Post a Comment