Continuing with the theme, please refer to this China survival guide once you leave the comforts of your apartment. (Apologies for the photo to words ratio...)
When someone tries to take a stealth picture of you...
...make an outrageous face or take a picture back (that will really confuses them).
For this photo, Madeleine turned to me and said turn to your left and make a face, which I obviously did. The guy of course realized that this "sneaky" picture is not so sneaky after all and started laughing at my face, so much so that he came over to show us this photo on his camera. We then took a nice posed picture with his girlfriend after as a consolation prize since he had the guts to admit to his "sneaky" picture. Most people, however, will pretend you didn't see them.
When you can't read the Chinese menu...
...point to other people's food or act it out.
When you can't find the bathroom or squatty potties...
...play charades.
When you want your plants to have flowers or autumn leaves...
...tape fake ones on.
These trees have had these bright yellow and orange "leaves" from fall to winter to spring... not sure if they will ever come down.
When someone hands you their baby to take a photo of you and the baby...
...smile. You are probably holding a ridiculously cute baby.
When everyone stares at you because you are a westerner...
...pretend you are famous. Staring back does nothing.
When your back needs to "breathe"...
Yes, this is what I sleep on now... a few comforters on top of wooden slates. On the plus side, apparently those slates allow your body to breathe. Still have not figured out the mechanics of that one.
When someone noisely spits...
...get out of the way and continue your conversation with them.
When your bike seat, pedal, and handle bars are all broken due to lack of quality control...
...deal with it and pretend it will improve your biking skills.
When the subway or bus is so crowded that your feet no longer touch the ground...
...add a few more people on! There's always more room!
Despite the calm and pleasant looks on our faces, we could barely move. It was quite a feat to get the camera out... I don't know if I have ever been so close to strangers before I lived in China. Please share your personal bubble with at least 13 people.
When taxis won't stop because you are a westerner (and therefore don't speak Chinese)...
...put your scarf over your head and face.
When cars drive on the wrong side of the road like they own it...
...don't freak out. Those lines and red lights are only suggestions.
When you see another car or biker on the street, when you are passing someone, or really when you just like that car...
...honk.
When you can't see the sky, the sun, or across the street for days because of the pollution...
This photo is actually from Shanghai. Smog just doesn't motivate me to take photos of it. And yes, there are days we have not been able to see across the street.
When it takes 1.5 hours to get anywhere...
...read a book!
When you don't know how to say bleach, chicken feet, peanut butter, or steamer in the grocery store...
...act it out. (Yes, all of those and many, many more have been acted out... Just add a few more weird looks to the list please.)
When fireworks go off at 7am on the weekend or really anytime on any day, directly next to your apartment...
...celebrate!
When a crowd of people start taking your picture...
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